Who Says You Can't Go Home?

We just returned from our "HomeVisit," our first trip back to our homeland after being in Switzerland for 6 months. Since the day I arrived in January I had been thinking of our return trip to the US - who would we see, where would we stay, would we make it to IL or just NY & MD, what are the top things we are going to want to do, what will we buy?

The weeks before the trip were quite busy. There were 2 long weekends prior to our leaving for the US, and we traveled on both of them (Munich & Salzburg for the first weekend of June and Locarno for the second weekend). The end of school year celebrations and concerts, and exhibitions were in full force and occupied both days and nights. Some Ex-pat acquaintances were returning to the US so I had lunches, a spa day!, and after school badi festivities to attend. When I wasn't at the aforementioned events, I spent all of my daytimes in the month of June planning and packing and unpacking from our long weekend trips, organizing my daughter's birthday celebration, planning our 3 week trip to the US which involved a lot of communication with friends in 3 states, planning individual sleepovers, and parties, shopping lists, and travel arrangements, as well as quickly digital scrapbooking our first 6 months in Switz and ordering the photobooks to be shipped to my MILs house for pickup during our visit. I was also fairly consumed with online shopping for clothes since my children have grown quite a bit since we've been here. Further, I had a costly trial membership for a gym and was trying to use it as much and enjoyed it immensely! On a side note, I had another minor car issue which I will blog about separately.

So, once all of the plans were finalized, roughly the night before we left, we flew to the US!!! I planned a 3 week trip thru our old stomping grounds IL, MD, and NY. My husband didn't want to take off 3 weeks, so he planned to meet up with us half way thru our trip, in MD. This meant I had to travel to the US with the kids by myself.

As you know, my husband and I employ a distinct separation of duties doctrine. When it comes to traveling, I manage the kids and do all the planning and organizing. He handles all of the documents and navigational logistics. This trip would mean I would have to handle all of my normal duties as well as his. I was a bit skeptical whether I could manage to get the kids to the airport via train, and manage all the documents (passports, permits, boarding passes, car rental info) as well as the abundance of luggage.

Since I brought up the luggage.... I was very proud of my luggage logistics. Heading to the US, expats bring empty suitcases, so you can shop and fill them up in the US and return with them full of bargains. I not only brought empty suitcases, but nested them inside each other so that we had less to manage. We brought 8 suitcases: 3 were large & empty, 1 small to return to a friend who visited and left with us filled with DD coffee, 1 filled with chocolate gifts, and 1 filled with Tshirts for family gifts. Only 2 contained our clothes for the 3 weeks. Makes perfect sense, right?

The kids were champs lugging the suitcases on the bus to the train to the airport, thru the train station to the airport terminal, up and down steps, up and down into the bus and trains, on escalators. No problem - these kids are experienced and good travelers.

I had some mixed emotions about going to the US. On one hand I could not wait to reconnect with everyone and see, hug them, hold them and share life with them again. On the other hand, however, I anticipated the pain of saying goodbye again, knowing that only six months had passed and my next trip would not be for at least another year, and this next stint would be longer. In some ways I wished the trip wasn't here already. I loved having it to look forward to ....when I would get frustrated or lonely, I always could cheer myself up by knowing that open arms were awaiting us, just ahead. Without having the trip to look forward to, I wondered what will comfort and bouy me for the next 12 months?

My fears were quickly allayed. From the minute we landed, we had a great time....great, great, great. How do I describe the joy we all shared seeing our dear ones? It was just so comforting, fun-filled, and joyous. Every day was a celebration, a celebration of friendship, a confirmation of the strong bond we share with others. Every day we felt like celebrities, with everyone flocking to see us and catching up on our lives.

We flew to Chicago, rented a car and drove to our former town for a 4 day friendship frenzy. We stayed with dear friends and loved every minute of it. We visited with our beloved pet lizard who is being cared for by dear friends. Our older son stayed with his bff for 3 of the 4 day visit and he had an absolutely amazing time. It was so good to see him play with his best friend - it just seemed so regular. Our days and nights were filled with visiting our various groups of friends, with friends hosting large pool parties so that we could visit with as many friends as possible. It was SO refreshing to see the kids pick up where they left off - as if no time or distance separated them. A few noteable things - people had noticed a change in my daughter, substantially more confident, but also a bit more tween-ish. (I have noticed some of the teen-ish attitude has crept in in the form of some sassiness : ( ) My elder son seemed to be more chatty with his best buddies. My younger son, who was/is fluent in Spanish and attended a Spanish immersion program met up with his Spanish speaking buddies and later told me that their Spanish is way better than his now....he's losing his skills since it is no longer being fostered. : (

It was bittersweet to hear about all of the wonderful things that took place without us. I got to hear about the 5th grade Fear Factor Day, the field day, yearbook, scout meetings, and see my daughter's 5th grade "moving up" ceremony pictures, and the commemorative 5th grade signed T-Shirt which bore no mention of her although she had been part of the class for 5 1/2 yrs.....I must admit that the exclusion stung....but hey - we are the ones who left. Hopefully, it bothers me more than it does her. It was wonderful and hard to see my younger son's classmates perform their Celebration Night dance with him standing with me, on the sidelines, rather than being in the midst of the performance. The toughest was taking my oldest son from his bff again. They just laugh and have such a great time together - doing anything - just playing videogames or making wierd faces at each other - they just laugh the whole time. I wish I could have kept him with his buddy for the summer or taken the bff with us as they are just 2 peas in a pod and bring out the best in each other.

It was a slice of heaven, reconnecting with the school friends, my girlfriends, my book club friends, our playgroup friends.....simply joyous! I managed to pop into my former health club and squeeze in a 6am Spin workout with my former early morning workout crew - love them!!

Then, it was time to fly to MD to see our dear friends from when we lived there 9 yrs earlier and my hubby's family. We had a great time reconnecting with these dear friends whom we normally see once or twice a year. It was joyous to be with them and catch up on the past 6 months, marvel at how the kids have physically changed, and swapping mom stories over the emotional, academic, and physical challenges and accomplishments we all bear.

It was wonderful to see the grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles! We swam in the pool, barbecued, celebrated all the recent birthday and holidays we missed, posed for pix in the Swiss T-shirts we brought for everyone. The kids just picked up where they left off, swapping info on the latest video game accomplishments and discoveries. I love to see them play with their baby cousins and the torturous teasing exchanges with a special uncle. We were amazed to see the growth in their baby cousins - who thanks to skype still seem to recognize us. It must be bewildering for her to see us in human form as she is likely thinking we are just these little people who live in the computer screen.

We spent a very fun American evening at a local carnival. The kids enjoyed hanging out with their cousins. The got to ride the rides together, eat cotton candy, ice cream and root beer. The kids enjoyed playing the games with their uncle and dad and winning stuffed animal prizes. It was a fun normal American summer evening. We also managed to squeeze in a couple movies with the cousins - a real treat for us as movie tickets are $20 each for us here in Zurich!

I was giddy that I could SHOP!! Since the day we arrived in Switz, I had been compiling a US shopping list of things that I could not find here in Switz, or that are too inconvenient to buy, or that are outrageously expensive that I can't stomach buying them here. In the US, shopping was easy and fun again. Everything was written in English, it was one-stop shopping, it was easily affordable, items were abundant, and the store layouts were familiar. The shopping carts didn't require a deposit, and I didn't need to go to a parking garage, keep my ticket and pay for my parking space. Shopping in America is SOOOOO EASY!! What did I buy? Brownie mix, makeup, lipstick, a couple favorite candies (bottlecaps, skittles, firey hot cinnamon jolly ranchers, and gum, glorious American gum), tons of clothes, Ugg boots for my tween as a belated bday gift, several pairs of shoes, nerf guns and bullets (I'm not exactly sure WHY, but I did), hair products ("It's a 10" and a conditioning masque), rubbing alcohol, adhesive velcro, fabric adhesive (for scout badges), a new Itouch (as A lost his on the trip in transit- bummer), dvds, books, taco seasoning, Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix, turkey gravy mix (yes - a mix. I never would have used a mix in the US, but here in Switz, we can only really buy small lean turkey breast meat and it is not conducive for making gravy), peanut butter and frosting. These latter 2 were subsequently confiscated by TSA in my carry-ons as they are considered to be a liquid or gel....bummer! There were a zillion other items I would have loved to pick up, but I knew I was approaching max capacity in my luggage.

We drove to NY to meet up with my brothers for our 5th Annual Cousinfest at a family golf resort in the Catskills. We just love this relaxing family vacation. The resort is very safe and offers lots of outdoorsy natural amusements, like a lake with lots of different boats/kayaks, fishing, playgrounds, a swimming pool, some organized activities (kickball, shuffleboard, tennis, soccer games), nature trails, hiking, and nightly entertainment. Our kids have 5 cousins to hang out with as well as a group of friends (12?)whom they have gotten to know from the previous years. This resort is significant to our kids as it allows them to have a vacation where they are happily quite independent of the parents....its sort of like they are at a sleepaway camp, but their parents are there ....somewhere.

We were happy to have some special visitors at the resort this year. One of my college friends stopped in with her 3 children to spend the day with us. Then, the next day, my cousins and kiddies came and stayed for 2 nights. It made the annual trip even more special!!

On the third night, I felt very content and at peace. Everything was going great. The kids were immensely happy running around the resort with their friends and cousins, hubby and I had managed to have lots of time together to walk & talk, my bros and I had lots of chats and managed to catch up on the past 6 months, and we all had time to play in the pool with our kids, and lounge by the pool and refresh ourselves. We were very relaxed, everything seemed so familiar, normal and easy....and then it hit me. In 5 days, this would be ending, as we would be returning and I felt a twinge of that bummed feeling again.

When the last spectacular night came, my big family (19 of us) were playing bingo. By 10pm, the kids were exhausted and wanted to head to bed. It was time to say goodbye. I was dreading this moment....I was laughing one minute and battling tears the next. I hugged and kissed my bros, my SILs, niece, nephews, cousins.....I had to squeeze them hard, but brief....lest I breakdown. Its hard to say goodbye to my family. We love each other so much, have been thru so much together in life, as we endured the long illnesses and deaths of our parents together, my bros and I have a special bond and don't take our time together for granted. We love being together and hate that we have to settle for such a small amount of time together. We will all look forward to the time when we live in driving distance again.

I was surprised by how well I took the return to Switzerland. I didn't cry much leaving the friends which really surprised me. It was always very hard to say goodbye again, but there was always something fun just waiting for us at our next stop. When the final goodbyes came with each friend and family, I actually didn't feel overwhelmed as I had anticipated. I felt very at peace. I felt alright....I can do this...I can go away and come back and know we haven't lost our connection. I do miss sharing my life with each of them, but know that we have interwoven our lives in such a way that it will not unravel readily.

Thinking of these special friends and family causes a BonJovi song to resonate in my head, "Who Says You Can't Go Home" "I went as far as I could ... I've traveled a million miles of memories on that road, With every step I take, I know I'm not alone, You can take the home from the boy but not the boy from his home...It's alright, it's alright.... who says you can't go home?"