Speed Freunding

It almost feels like I am dating again..... I've been "Speed Freunding." This is a Deunglish (Deutsch English) term that I have coined to describe the friending process. Are you familiar with "Speed Dating?" That low-risk, quick introduction and screening of potential mates that occurs in various US restuarants during lunch hours? I'll describe it if you are not familiar. Time-strapped singles meet at specified locations, during a finite period of time, say a lunch hour. There, they meet and greet several potential mates over the course of the specified time. The bell rings, and they have a short introductory conversation, or screening, where they exchange information about who they are, age, interests, hobbies, work, education, family and see if there is a mutual interest or chemistry. Then ding, the bell rings and they move on the next table to meet the next potential mate and exchange information with him/her. If there is chemistry and interest, there is the opportunity to meet up with the person again and see where it goes....that is Speed Dating in a nutshell. I feel that, unconsciously, I have been engaging in a similar process for the purpose of making friends....speed freunding. Since I have been here I have met many moms from the school, whether we were volunteering together, at a lunch, waiting in the hall, etc. After exchanging a bit of small talk about who we are, where we are from, who are our children, how are you settling in.... (screening), oftentimes, the woman will ask me if I'd like to meet her for coffee or a walk. I have gone to at least a dozen coffees/walks, meeting with various women. Then, things evolve, getting together again. A few of the women have become new friends. I've noticed with a couple of these ladies....after having coffee, we have even scheduled bigger commitments....lunches and shopping excursions.....freund! With one particular freunde, it has turned into a regular, weekly get together. Its as if we have a standing date on Thursdays since we both enjoy a vigorous walk, followed by lunch, and then head to German class together- usually scrambling to make it to class on time. This particular friend has even invited our family over to lunch on a Saturday and it was lovely to meet, spend the afternoon, and see the whole family in action. She has since invited us to a dinner party in May. She is very funny and doesn't think I'm dim when it takes me a few minutes to figure out what she's said due to her British accent and her dry, but wonderful, sense of humor. She's energetic like me, and enjoys shopping. We have constant conversations about food....her favorites, my favorites. She's shown me her food stash of British foods, and I've told her about my Costco collection. She's recently taken up running and ran her first race. Shortly after finishing, she texted me with her time. I was sooo happy for her....and happy that she wanted to share it with me.....with me!....I think this person has evolved into a friend/freund! In another situation, I had chatted with a woman who then invited me to meet for coffee. We realized we had additional things in common - she is from the US, similar area as me, and we probably have 3 degrees of separation, and she's a lovely lively energetic person. We quickly discovered that our children were both working in the MS play and she was heading up a volunteer effort. I offered to help her with some of her extensive duties and I had a lot of fun getting involved. She has been so kind in many ways and has lead to my meeting some other similar moms. We will be getting together for lunch this week and she's bringing a friend who is from the very town I lived in in MD. In any given week, there are various coffees...various groups meet up at a locale and spend the morning together. Sometimes it geographical (the American moms, or the British moms), or by residence (Langnau, Thalwil, etc), or by classroom, or by grade (grade 7's coffee is tomorrow, although I have to miss it due to German class.) Sometimes I have had back-to-back coffee meetings....how much coffee can one person drink? Not all coffee meetings reveal potential friends. One coffee outing was with a group of women who were mostly British. For two ladies, this was their first overseas assignment (although England is a mere 2 hr plane trip from here), and 2 ladies were pros at moving overseas. The two newbies seemed quite homesick and mostly concerned about enduring their time here until they can get back to the UK. When I asked them about any travels they were planning to do this summer. One of them replied (and I've heard this before) "We're British...not European...we'll be heading back to the UK for the summer." I must say I didn't really feel a chemistry. I definitely prefer higher, positive energy, and I barely felt a pulse. This group has invited me out again, but I haven't joined them. Well, I must sign off as its time to gather the kiddies from school. Bis Bald! So, that's my speed freunding.

Zuerst Glucklick Geburstag

"First Happy Birthday"

I'll share my big boy's birthday happenings and show you what's been keeping me from all of you:

On the day my dear daughter left for Davos....

I got up with her at 6am (let's not discuss how that was 11pm in Chicago time), arrived at her at school at 6:40 am, snapped a few pix, bus departed at 7am, I was home by 7:20, fed the boys breakfast, it was my big boy's birthday so we opened his cards & gifts, made lunches, out the door to drop them at their schools by 8am. Went shopping, picked up some Swiss cake mixes.

My big boy was turning 13. Normally, I would have planned a celebration but this year was obviously a bit different. He has has made casual friends at school and at scouts but hasn't really made any special friends. His weekends had been filled with hiking with his dad, and participating in his school's musical by working on Backstage Crew. He has spent several Saturdays making sets, painting sets and himself, and having other people apparently paint him as he's come home covered in paint. He's had a great time and really looked forward to spending every Saturday afternoon at school.

Fortunately/unfortunately the big boy's birthday arrives on such busy day. His show was only 10 days away so there was rehearsal every day after school. K had left for Davos, there was an important Scout meeting that night, and we had committed to hosting 2 basketball playing girls from the school in Milan who would be competing in a basketball tournament that our school was hosting.....all in the same day. Without the opportunity for a true celebration, I asked the Show Director if I could bring cupcakes or something to the end of rehearsal as it might be his only celebration. She thought it would be a great idea. I asked how many should I bring....she replied that there were 65 kids involved. WOW!

After I dropped the boys at school, I came home with my day already filled. I needed to bake for the 65 Show kids and might as well send some goodies to the Scout meeting (+25 people), and clean and prepare for the Milan girls. I bought several boxes of cake mix, whose directions are only in German, French and Italian. I typed the instructions in to the translation website and got a general idea of what to do. Some things did not translate, so then I inputted the French words to see if that would provide some additional clues. Once I got the general parameters, I started to bake. Since I brought my American Hand Mixer, and it is compatible with the European electicity, I thought I was good to go. To my surprise it went UBER powerful, fast and crazy, and spewed the baking mix up in poofs all over the kitchen. Quite a mess...next time, I stirred it by hand a bit first to moisten it and avoid the billowing clouds of baking dust.

That day, I successfully baked 4 large cakes of lemon, and marble cake, and while they were baking in the oven make 4 large batches of rice krispie treats. I placed them in lovely woven trays, topped them with loads of gummy candies, and smartie like candies, and some muffins and wrapped them up.

I managed to squeeze in a lovely hourlong walk with my friend D from the Netherlands and most recently from Dubai. We talked a lot about travel plans. She will be heading to Chicago and NY this summer ....and perhaps squeezing in a 2 day trip to DC as well. She is so nice and enjoyable and had a terrific family.

Then, I came home and quickly prepped dinner, and set up the guest room and guest bathroom for the gals for Milan. I printed off their schedule so I would know where and when to chauffer them to/from.

I picked up T from school and we headed to rehearsal to meet up with A. He had no idea we had all these goodies. The director set up a table, and surprised A by having all 65 kids sing Happy Birthday to him. I was so excited I wanted to cry. He's been so brave and amazing, juggling all these changes, navigating friendships new schedules, new demands, jumping in to volunteer, hoping to make meaningful friendships, and never complaining while settling for mere acquaintances on his very special day.... while there are great friends equally missing him so far away. It was such a happy, but certainly bittersweet moment, as I know how much he must miss his friends and his previous full life.

Then, we rushed to the Upper School/High School, picked up the lovely girls from Milan, and rushed to drop A at the train station with his tray of goodies for his next meeting and little celebration. With a quick hug & kiss goodbye I left him at an unfamiliar station, with his directions to meet dad at ENGE. Then, as usual, I began the incessant texting with my husband"he's on the 6:31 train....meet him at Enge in 12 minutes" Followed by "where are u?" "Did you get him yet?"Which sends my husband rushing to the train platform while texting my son to stay in communication. They text until they meet, get a bite for dinner, usually at a Burger King or equally bad establishment, and they are off to the scout meeting.

Then, I introduce myself to the Milan girls...."hello, I am Colleen, I am a typical overcommitted, harried, American Mom squeezing 48 hours worth of life into 24, and you are.... ? T chats incessantly with the girls on the drive home telling them our life story of the past 6 months.

We arrive home, T gives them the tour, they are amazed by our large house (so un-European), seem to like their guest room, and eat the dinner I've prepared. We had a great time chatting. They are actually British students living in Milan. One has a father who is Italian, and a British mom, while the other has 2 British parents (although her mom is from an island off the coast of Africa- its not Madagascar, but perhaps the Seychelles?.... but emigrated to the UK when she was a girl). They told us all about Italy....Florence is really just a smaller Milan. If you go to Milan, you don't need to see Florence, they like Venice, pizza and pasta are very good. They're Basketball team is not very good as their school (like most of these International Schools I've learned) emphasize the Arts way more than they value sports. The Milan British School is apparently quite prestigious, as a Versace child attends, and "David Beckham tried to get in" (see, his mistake was that he excelled at sports rather than the arts....such a shame...).

The girls were great company. T barely let them go to bed that night. In the morning, I got the 4 kids off to their various schools and attended my all day German lessons, then picked up the 4 kids, and brought them home. A & T really liked the girls. They went out to the Wildepark together and came home with their private jokes that I obviously wasnt included in.

While they were all gone, I worked on dinner. When I volunteered to host the basketball players, we were informed that there were students from a variety of locations who would be attending the tournament. There were students arriving from the International Schools of Milan, Tel Aviv, Vienna, London, Germany, and another English or Irish School. My friends who have hosted told me "just make them some pizza & pasta." Well, low and behold, I get 2 students from Milan, the birthplace of fabulous pizza & pasta.... -how could I possibly serve them my store-bought Swiss pizza & pasta? But... I did. I confronted my anxiety, and followed a recipe for a semi-homemade baked ziti and the kids all loved it and nearly ate the whole dish! whew!!

Then the kids played games that night and ate chocolate fondue which they loved. These girls were a great match for us. I really wish we could have kept them for a week. It definitely kept my mind so busy that I couldn't be sad about missing my own little girl.

The girls spoiled us with gifts from Italy. One brought us Grappa, a dessert wine, and dried mushrooms and fresh dried pasta. The other girl brought us a funky designer wine bottle opener which we will treasure always.

So, then, Friday arrived and they went out for the night with their team. I picked up my baby girl from her trip and we had a nice family time listening to her stories about her trip and tucking her into bed with some extra-special kisses. The next day, we ate a big breakfast and had to say goodbye to our guests. We sent them off with some special Swiss chocolates and our best wishes.

A was off to rehearsal and the birthday week/Davos trip seemed like it just was a wonderful, magical time that vaporized like Brigadoon. Poof !

SWISS BLUES

Wow! I can hardly believe it has been a month since my last post. I greatly apologize for neglecting you and have set aside time this morning to update you.

First off, I must offer my setting: I am sitting in my living room, feet propped up on the coffee table (since the kids are not home to see it), the room is filled with sun, large glass doors are wide open, sun is streaming thru the windows, the smell of coffee wafting thru the air, the clippy clop of the horse just passed and gave way to the splashing of the creek beside our house (in between is the sound of cars revving by, but don't let that ruin this glorious imagery), and the church bells are clanging reminding me its time to catch up with friends....

My neglect is likely a sign that we are getting entrenched in our lives here in Switzerland. Where do I begin?

Swiss Blues: Not referring to sadness, but rather the Swiss Ski Pistes. I went skiing a couple times earlier this month and made great progress. On Friday 3 weeks ago, a friend invited me to join her HausFrau Ski Group for an outing to Hoch Y Brig mountain. This was a wonderful day. The weather couldn't be more perfect, bright shining sun, and perhaps 45 degrees. We met in the parking lot at school, piled our gear atop her little sporty BMW station wagon and set out immediatly after dropping off the kids at 8:30 am. We got to the mountain, met up with the other HausFraus, changed into our gear in the parking garage, got our lift passes and were on the slopes by 10am. Hoch Y Brig was amazing - I wish I had brought my camera, but I have learned that people here pack light when they go skiing. Literally, they just bring their ski necessities. snowpants, boots, helmets, skiis, coats, gloves, goggles. No need to bring anything else. Its all about hittin the slopes. In the US, I would have packed a weekend bad with extra ski pants, tissues, snacks, water bottles, etc. So HochYBrig was a site- it was sooooooo wide and vast, I could hardly take it all in in my brain. Oddly, it had no trees - so it looked like a white desert with rolling white hills. It really looked like a white Sahara - just spectacular. Above I have added 2 images from the website.

Since I was with die-hard skiier women, they were so anxious to start and pumped! I was a bit leary, and made it clear this Swiss skiing was still new to me. Someone brought a camera so we posed for a picture at the exit of the lift atop a Blue Piste (trail in US) - great shots I'm sure. If they had any doubt about my ski skills, or lack of, it was confirmed when I turned around to make my way toward the slope and accidentally began sliding out of control and smashed into an older man wearing the Swiss Ski Instructor uniform and fell onto the ground. He immediately turned to me and shouted some obviously excited words in German.....let's just assume he was expressing great concern for me and checking to see that I was alright. Thankfully, I couldn't see the HausFraus' faces as I am certain they were eyerolling and thinking that this was going to be a looooonnng day with the Newbie. We set off down the slopes and it went surprisingly very well.....in that I didn't fall or crash into anyone else. Of course, I was sweating and gritting my teeth, concentrating and trying to squash the negative thoughts in my head, "why did I think I could do this? why did I think I could keep up with them?" After I survived the first run and caught up with them, and was thinking that it was a good time for a coffee and snack break, they were elated and joyfully exclaimed," Wasn't that GREAT?! OMG this is SO FANTASTIC!!!" We stayed on that Piste for several more times, and I found myself getting better and better. I was still having to concentrate on not killing myself or anyone else, but by lunchtime I was fully comfortable and really having a great time. Another interesting sight I appreciated from the ski lift was th e off-piste skiing and snowboarding. It is acceptable to ski off-piste, off trail - its just a free for all - there are ski & snowboard tracks everywhere - apparently people here love to ski off trail in this powdery,off beaten areas. Alas, it was time for lunch. Lunch was lovely in the ski chalet - a buffet of a variety of hot meals, cold sandwiches, and snacks awaited. I ordered a meal of curried chicken, which by the way, using my newly acquired but still quite limited and timid German, I requested "mit gemuse, nicht reis, bitte" (with vegetables, not rice, please). The meal was $20 and the bottle of water $5.

We had a nice time chatting over lunch and it was nice to see their faces without their helmets and goggles on. There were 6 of us, including 5 Americans 1 of whom is from Queens NY, 1 from Minneapolis, 2 from Boston area. We exchanged info about various vacation spots, who is going where for Spring Break and for summer. After lunch, we hit the slopes again. Everyone told me that I was doing very well and keeping up with them fine. It boosted my confidence. This time the HausFraus decided to kick it up a notch and hit the Red Piste. I joined them and did fine. I was gritting my teeth again, a bit stressed, but did well and so enjoyed it. I am beginning to feel that "skiiers high" a bit where you so look forward to skiing.

As soon as I knew it, it was 2pm and time for us to start to head back to the school parking lot and pick up the kids at school. It had been a great day.

The very next day, a Saturday, the Boy Scouts were having a ski day at Flumserberg. I had volunteered to help chaperone. My big boy and I got up and out of the house around 8am and traveled like the natives. We wore our ski/snowboard boots, wore all of our equipment, carried our skiis across the street to the bus stop, boarded the bus to the train station, met up with the other scouts and leaders at the Thalwil train station and boarded the train to Flumserberg carrying and wearing all of our equipment....yes, that includes walking up & down stairs and steps in our ski boots. It took 1 1/2 hrs to get to Flums but we had a great time with the Scout friends on the train. As soon as we knew it, we were on the cable car headed up to the slopes. My big boy is still new to snowboarding so he wanted to stay on the bunny hill. The wonderful Scoutmaster encouraged him to try the Blue piste....just once....its easy. A did, and it was very tough and frustrating for him, but he managed it fairly well. I skiied near him, following him. At the bottom he asked me to, basically, go do my own thing. I think he was feeling hurried with me following him and he wanted to learn on his own. We agreed to stay on the same piste and meet up a the restaurant with the other scouts at 1pm. I was a bit worried, thinking about something happening to him, he'd be all alone, but I realized that we'd be on the same trail, passing each other continuously, so I agreed but kept my eye on him from afar. I really had a great day. It was freeing to be able to let him do his thing and allow myself to concentrate on my skiing.

We all met up for lunch at one of the restaurants. The leaders brought a large insulated bag of food for their family. They were both skiing, and I asked where they had kept their food. "Oh, we just put it down here in the snow, next to the picnic tables before we went on the lift. Noone touches anyone else's belongings here, so its safe." Hmmmm....interesting. In the US, it would have been stolen, or someone would have called the bomb squad about an unattended bag.

We ate lunch with a few other scouts. Two of whom are brothers and told us that their family is likely moving to the US Chicago area this summer. They were curious to know about America, since they are originally Australian, moved to England 9 yrs ago, and have been living in Switz for the past 5 yrs or so. They had heard great things about living in America and wanted us to confirm. Yes, movie tickets are ONLY $10 ($20 here in Switz), there are McDonalds and Starbucks on virtually every corner. We told them all about the Wisconsin Dells waterparks (Brilliant!), I tried to tell them how big the HS are, and how fun and challenging they are, how lovely Chicago is, but how brutal the winter is, etc. I think we sold them! They told me their mom is quite hesitant, so I told them I would contact her and give her the 411.

So, A finished up lunch and immediately engaged in the BS snowball fight. The boys had a blast and I wish I had my camera. The weather was incredibly warm, and there were people sitting outside the restaurant eating and drinking and hanging out in the gorgeous sunshine, while the boys froliched in the snow. Skiiers and snowboarders whizzed by us. It was truly a lovely time.

I chatted with some other parents including a set of parents from California. The dad is a college professor, here on sabatical for a year, and his wife is a teacher, homeschooling the children. They will head back over the summer.

We hit the slopes for a few more runs before A&I met up and headed home. When we arrived, we had a wonderful visit from an American friend living here in Switzerland. He's a good friend of J's and we had a great night eating, drinking, and talking. He's great fun and we're glad to have him & his family closeby.

Everyone here seems to LOVE the skiing but this year is considered a washout. The weather has been uncharacteristically warm and the ski slopes are suffering. Its so interesting to me to hear moms at school saying how they are so anxious to get in as much skiing as possible since this will be a short season. Every day their are women meeting in the school parking lot, fastening their ski equipment to the roof of a car and zipping out after drop off, obviously headed to the hills. I like skiing, and certainly am enjoying it more that I am becoming better at Swiss skiing, but I still don't CRAVE it the way others do. Its funny for me to be in a conversation when other moms are talking about what a bummer this gorgeous warm weather is....I just furrow my brows a bit, tuck in my lips, and fake a sign of concern, and agree with a sigh "such a shame...."

My dear daughter also had quite the Ski Experience this past month. The International School takes all the grade 3, 4 and 5 students on a 3 days ski trip designed to improve their ski & independence skills. They went to a beautiful mountain, Davos, near Kloisters. They left at 7am, were on the slopes by 10, and in small group lessons of 4-6 students with a private instructor for 6 hours per day with just a break for lunch and snacks...for 3 days straight.

I must confess when I heard the rigorous schedule I was a bit concerned for my daughter. Although she's had lessons, she is still new, it is still frustrating, and definitely not an activity that she loves. I wasn't sure how she would handle getting all of her equipment on and carried by herself, and how she would vent her frustration.....in addition to all the tween concerns of who am I rooming with, what's the food like, where do we get dressed, what is everyone wearing, do I bring a teddy bear or not, etc. I dropped her off at 6:30 am as required. She was nervous and anxious and I wish I could help comfort her more, but I had to let go and let her figure it all out. I was so excited for this opportunity for her but knew what a challenge it would be.

When she returned on the 3rd night, she was exhausted but happy. She did great. She felt that she greatly improved her ski skills. She roomed with some people she liked and didnt like much, but felt it all worked out. She hated the food, ate a lot of bread and butter. She managed all of her equipment like a pro. I was sooo proud of her. She always rises to the occaision and is so capable! It was good to have her home.