The Week In Review....

You are probably wondering why I hardly call anyone back nor respond to emails and seem like I've gone AWAOL. Please allow this week's weekly marathon to speak for itself:

Saturday - baby cousins visit - hooray ! Sold  Car- hooray, ran errands with dear daughter trying to use up old gift cards (tough life, right?), shopping - returned tight hiking boots and bought snow boots and  another pair of hiking boots. When I brought said boots home I realized I brought home 2 left feet. How did that happen? Did I try the left shoe on twice? Duh!  Then onto lunch, playdates, sent hubby to exchange my hiking boots, he & big guy went to see The Social Network, and came home and collapsed.

Sunday - Farewell for the boys and friends at Laser Tag. Fun, but hard to say goodbye. It was interesting to see my big guy say goodbye to his friends - they seemed to use a lot of zany handshake type movements. Little guy seemed a bit oblivious to the finality....good thing.  Watched Mean Girls with the kids (yes, the movie rating is PG13 but I am on hiatus from rule- following for the moment, aren't I?) Sent out change of email address notices. Hubby packed for his quick jaunt to DC for Mon/Tues. Collapsed.

Monday - school, errands, hubby out of town, kids home/homework/Boy Scout Court of Honor where my big guy reported for kitchen patrol, helped cook dinner, and received his First Class Award. Home late. Collapsed.

Tuesday - breakfast farewell with a special friend, followed by much needed hair appointment. Pick up kids, last dinner in rental house, pack up clothing for luggage and rest of house for Air Shipment. Hubby home. Collapsed.

Wed - 6 am workout, Rental house remains are packed up and taken for Airshipment, bring hubby to rental car place, clean the rental house, put final stuff in storage, return Comcast modem/Dvrs, etc, contemplated getting an x-ray of my sprained (?) ankle that hasnt fully healed in the 2 1/2 weeks since I injured it, change of address at post office, ship Thomas train sets to baby cousins, pack the luggage, retrieve kids from school, dabble in homework, dinner with friends and lots of laughs, little guy's Cub Pack meeting where he received his Wolf Badge in a cool ceremony, check in at hotel - feels so luxurious compared to rental house airmattresses. Collapse.

Thurs -  Hard to get out of hotel bed...so comfy. Got kids to school, breakfast with a dear old friend, dropped our dear lizard pet off at friend's house, got to daughter's school for surprise farewell party, then to little guy's school for holiday party, picked up gift cert for friend,liquid lunch (coffee), picked up kids from schools, hotel for a little R&R, ordered Chinese food for dinner, and returned to daughter's school for Holiday Concert....collapse.

Friday - 6am Spin Workout. What a surprise - my workout pals decorated the room in a patriotic American theme, with balloons on my bike, which was also draped with a scarf, flags with special messages, etc. Just so incredibly sweet. Breakfast in hotel, got kids to school (including Daughter early so she can make the morning announcements), threw laundry in washer at rental house, coffee/breakfast with the girls for a final hug, Village Hall to attempt to pay water bill, switched laundry to dryer, visited a sweet friend to say goodbye, little guy's school for Holiday Concert, said goodbyes in his school, picked up big guy and paid for his missing textbook, picked up his records, he cleaned out his locker, picked up laundry from rental house, picked up daughter and enjoyed a bit of her holiday party, and then picked up my little guy, went to hotel for a much needed rest. Dinner at Francesca's - yum ! Blog needed a little attention. Paid some bills. Collapse.

The fabric of our lives....

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....it was our last week in IL.
I approached our last week in IL with mixed feelings. I had a lot of final farewells scheduled and was torn between wanting it to pass slowly to savor every minute;  to etch every memory into my heart once more....and yet, I wanted it to speed by as it was so difficult...painful... to say goodbye to the dearest of friends.  I shed a zillion tears these past few weeks, and realize that they weren't tears of angst, or regret, or fear for the future, but rather tears of gratitude.  I have come to know such nice, wholesome, wonderful, earnest, fun, amazing, interesting, and generous people here and I am so privileged to call "friends."


We have spent eight years in IL, building friendships and intertwining the threads of our lives with others. Following our interests like threads, whether it was volunteering, playdates, beach dates, lunch dates at Chubbys, pool parties, classroom activities, field trips, stamping and scrapbooking together, working out, discussing books, going AWOL together on Moms Nights Out, jewelry parties, evenings at the Catlow, Brownies, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, bowling, soccer, swimming, SBC, YMCA, summer school, etc.we have found friends whose lives have woven in and out of ours, and formed a tapestry with us...a beautiful tapestry. I'm afraid I frayed and unraveled my portion of the tapestry a bit this week. My tears seemed the only way to express the words that escaped me:  I  am so grateful to have you in my life, and I wish we could stay in each other's daily lives.

The good thing about a tapestry is that it is filled with all different threads that are woven for a bit, then knotted, and set aside, to make way for a different thread that contributes to the work's beauty, and the process is repeated. It's time for me to knot my thread, and pull off and see how I can contribute to another tapestry. I will always be part of your lives, and you, of mine. I am so grateful for you, friend.

Relocating 201: Offload the House

Once I could envision what life would be like in Switzerland, we had to figure out how to transition from this life to that one. The first major issue was what to do with the IL house. We decided to "sell" it....a term we use loosely in the dire midwest during the 3rd yr of a horrible economic recession.

Selling the house wasn't going to be easy. We decided to start by cleaning out the house of its contents.  We cleaned out the entire house during the month of July - from Attic to basement Storage room. Not one drawer or hiding space went unscathed. It was brutal, ugly, icky, tiring...no, completely exhausting. Every day, I dreaded reporting for duty, but was highly motivated to do so because my 3 car garage looked like something dreadful from the TV show Hoarders.

I was constantly balancing in my head a small Swiss home with NO storage with my sentimental attachment to things. Here's the thing that I learned about STUFF: It jogs memories and help you recapture the feelings/experience of when you received it. For example, one of the zillions of stuffed animals that I had to determine the fate of was a cute little dragon from Disney World. While playing games in Dinoland in Animal Kingdom, each family member had won a toy except for one, sibling 1. After another game, sibling2  had won another toy and promptly gave it to sibling 1. Sib 1 was so happy - he held it all day, rode the rides with it, and fell asleep with it in his arms that night, and each night thereafter. Coming across this little stinker (and a zillion of his counterparts) gave me reason to pause, count my blessings, and remember such a remarkable time of joy. I ask you, ladies and gentlement of the discarding jury - what would you do with this dragon ? Hopefully, he's sleeping in someone else's arms by now...

Anyway, it was a difficult, long process which culminated in a garage sale in the bearly bearable July heat on the asphalt driveway that I can only liken to being an ant under a magnifying glass. The garage sale was quite lucrative and fun thanks to some dear friends who kept us company, despite the heat. After the garage sale, I was so SICK of looking at all the stuff and sentimentality that we took carloads over to donation. Whew ! So glad that was done....

With the house largely cleaned out, we listed the house for sale. I desperately wanted the house to sell. I knew we would never feel entirely at peace in The Move and carefree in Switzerland if we were responsible for the IL house. I turned to God in the sale of our house and proposed a sort of "Division of Labor." I prayed,  "Please bring the RIGHT people to our house, and  we'll  do whatever needs to be done on our Earthly end." I vowed that we would not get hung up by greed, nor pride, nor money, nor timing, nor any other petty issues, etc. Our goal was simply to sell the house by the end of the year when we would leave for Switz. Well, thanks also to the hustle of our fab realtor, and realistic flexible pricing in this market, a family came to see our house on Day 12, fell in love, and we had a contract for our house by day 15. Still to this day, whenever I drive by a FOR SALE sign (and there's zillions here in the midwest), I whisper my thanks to God.

We agreed to settle on our house in mid October, which would require us to move to a short term rental from Oct- December when we left for Zurich.  I spent the month of September packing, packing, packing. If it wasn't nailed down, I wrapped and packed it. I wasnt even sure what I was packing for - I didn't know where we were going to live from Oct to December, nor from January - 2013. I didnt know where we would be living in Switzerland, what we would need, or want to bring. I just wrapped packed, and labeled everything.

As in the fabled Harry Potter Series, my packing evolved into a Sorting Ceremony, another tedious and long process: There were things we knew were going to come to both the rental house and to Switz (Group A- beds, dressers, etc), things that we didnt know whether they were going to come (Group B - kayak, canoe, firepit, desks, hockey equip, etc) and things we knew were NOT coming and were going to long term storage (Group C dining room furniture, Holiday decor, stereo equipment, sentimental items).

The buyers needed to move into our house in October, which meant we needed to move to a short term rental until we left in December. With the abundance of vacant housing in our area, you would think it a piece of cake to rent something short term. Well, I've come to realize that short-term renters are considered bottom feeders in the real estate market. Noone wants to rent to a short term renter, not even for a premium on the rent, and especially if it means they have to re- list the house for rent in January. So out of the zillions of vacant houses in our area that are for sale, our realtor managed to find one that was available for us to rent short term. Fine....we had a place to live.

Relocating 101: The Orientation Tour

Once we realized we were going to relocate, we started working on "The Move."  Anyone who knows anything about mass production knows that "division of labor" is essential to effective use of resources. Anyone who knows US knows that we employ a "division of labor" approach to our life: my hubby manages his work and I manage the homefront. In other words, I would say, "He makes the living, and I make the living worthwhile," while HE might say " I earn it, she spends it."....nonetheless, what's important is that everyone contributes by doing what he does best, everyone is happy with his assigned duties, and everything runs smoothly. Sorry, I diverse.... so, due to our clear cut division of labor ideals, The Move, (excluding his work issues, of course) falls under "homefront," and thus, my realm.

I wish there had been an instruction manual guiding us, step by step, how to relocate to Switzerland.  Paraphrasing Donald Rumsfeld,  "There's things we know, things we don't know, and things we don't even know that we don't know." My knowledge of relocating, and Switzerland, etc. fell under the latter. Although I had been to Europe three times, I would have been hard pressed to accurately locate Switzerland on a map, had no idea what the currency, temperatures, culture, languages, foods were like. I might have well been relocating to the moon. Clearly, I needed information.

Fortunately in this age of technology, everything is on the internet. I began to search the web for information while the kids were in school. Initially, I searched tourism websites for the Zurich landmarks, history, activities, geography, weather, travel ideas, and the International Schools where our children might attend. I was fortunate that we had a couple work-related friends who have done assignments in Switzerland and I was able to ask them about their experiences as well.

Early n the process, I was invited to Switz for the "Orientation Tour." I continued my internet research, shifting my search more from a perspective of "What is Switzerland like" to a more personal level,  "how does a family relocate overseas?" I needed information on the social support network, living conditions, and on the logistics.I blogsearched for "American Family, ExPat, Switzerland, Zurich."  I found several, but one struck me as having some similiaries to ours and I contacted the blogger! Gasp...a complete stranger. One of her posts described moving overseas as living without a safety net... that there was noone to rely on, but yourself. Like the feeling you feel right before the rollercoaster starts, it is both terrifying, and exciting, and I completely understood the feeling.

 I contacted her and explained our situation and was comforted by her reply and offered a wealth of information and insight. We have continued to correspond, and I visited her on both of my trips, and I have come to think of her as a friend.  I am so grateful for her and would probably still be staring at the Map of Switzerland if it hadnt been for her.

Once over in Switzerland, I scrutinized everything as a potential resident, not as a optimistic tourist on holiday. I took copious notes, noting things about the customs, simple language phrases, grocery store (100 types of chocolate, and only 20 types of breakfast cereal, albeit no brown sugar, baking powder, nor chocolate chips!), clothing (what do the kids wear, where do you buy it, ee gads - it costs how much ?!),  housing (quite the opposite of the US - few homes, escalating prices), locations, etc. I was fortunate to visit with my blogger friend and she and her husband gave us insight into their relocation process. Preliminary haushunting gave us a guage of the housing options: small apartments and houses with spectacular views of Zurichsee (Lake Zurich). Most Americans and English speakers live in the vicinity of the English Speaking International Schools.

 Perhaps it was my jetlag/ sleep deprivation, but the first day in Switz I felt very aware of amusements that our kids would be missing out on. I didnt see any mega 30 movie complexes, no Laser Tags, no bowling alleys, no Chuck E Cheeses/Gameworks/ESPN zones, no roller rinks, nor Science Centers, etc. I wondered if I was just doing The Move for hubby and me. Were we really thinking of the kids' best interests? 

Visiting the International Schools on the second day was informative, and put my mind at rest quite a bit about the kids' adjustments.The International School was filled with ExPats from various English speaking countries: South Africa, England, Canada, Australia, Ireland. Americans comprise about a quarter of the student population, and the School appears to be the Center of ExPat family life. The children were all happy, chatty, confident, bouyant....very American seeming in their dress and behavior. I loved watching them play on the playgrounds, hanging out in the cafeterias, spying on the MS science lab, and creating impressive works of art. During our visit, the elementary students were studying Economics and they had organized a global market day. From what I could gather, the students made items to sell (baked goods, etc) and had prepared advertising, and  pricing strategy, and were selling their goods during our visit. It was very fun and impressive and I liked the hand-on teaching approach. The school's setting seemed so cozy and familiar as it is a small community with just 60 kids per grade. Like many schools in the US, they have a very active Parents Assn that organizes many activities  and supports the curriculum. Although we were in the heart of Europe, the atmosphere seemed oddly "normal." Well, let me throw in the exception: the cafeteria was quite different than its American counterpart. There are huge baskets of fresh croissants and breads, fresh fruits, yogurts, and the entree of the day was Chicken Curry. Living in Europe would definately stretch their minds...

We left with a fair understanding of what our life in Switzerland would entail. I digested all of my information on the long flight home....along with decadent chocolates and Swiss wines. : ) 

Switzerland, you had me at Gruitzi!

Moving to another country is a major decision. It impacts not only you, but all of those around you...the children, the friends, co-workers, extended family. It is a balance among pursuing your own interests, with the interests of others. Once my husband was approached about the  new job opportunity in Switzerland, we began to seriously think about it and consider the widespread and deep impact.  My main concern was whether we were doing the right thing for our children.  Hubby and I both grew up in close families, with family members who still live in the towns we grew up in. We already moved our family once while the children were basically babies, 8 years ago, to Chicagoland. It was hard on my eldest...and harder on me. I lost my support network... distance divided me from my dear friends, and our families. Holidays and milestones lost a lot of their charm and tradition. Suddenly the occasions which once were the highlight of our family life felt so lonely; they became similar to any other day with it being just the 5 of us. When we would spend holidays/vacations with family, it was an exhausting, and expensive endeavor:  packing up the 5 of us and flying or driving 12+ hours or some combination thereof to the destination. Inevitably, one,  or several, of us would come down with a stomach bug (always a horrible experience when you are staying at someone else's house!), which we would generously pass on to our hosts. I wondered, what is the effect on children of removing them from the only home and culture they have ever known?  Will the Swiss culture feel confining for my boisterous family? Will we adjust and make friends easily? Can we afford to live a great life there? How can we walk away from the great life we already have? Why fix what is not broken? If we are examining new opportunities, should we just relocate back to where we came from? How and when will we see our family?

On the other hand, we were once perfectly happy in Maryland, and now we were perfectly happy here in IL. It was heartwrenching to leave our loved ones, and best friends,  in Maryland, but we did, and survived, and thrived. We have met so many amazing, kind, fun, interesting, dear people in IL and love our life here. Raising our children in the heart of the midwestern values has been a joy.  It occurred to me, that had we not upended our life by moving here, we would have missed out on the opportunity to know these people, live this life, and know this part of the USA.

As time passed, my concerns abated as I learned more about the opportunity. I read blogs about American families living abroad and found myself swept in their adventures. I began to understand the "ExPat" culture, and the various English speaking connections and commeraderie that abounds in foreign cities. I began to warm up to the idea of living abroad, but it was still very abstract, as our opportunity was not yet set in stone. I wouldn't let myself  worry about the decision until the process began and the details were ironed out. I connected with another ExPat blogger to get the inside scoop, "what's it like?,""are the kids happy," "what do you do for fun?, "" what do you miss?"

In May, I was invited to Switzerland for an "Awareness Tour." Hubby and I went and were taken around by a Relocation Agent. With her assistance, we checked out the International Schools, grocery stores, book stores, department stores, some housing options, and of course some lovely restaurants ( "All work and no play...", you know). The excitement of my previous European trips came flooding back....there's just something about traipsing on centuries-old cobblestones and looking at ornate guilded architecture, and magnificent historic churches with vivid stained glass that takes my breath away. I love the distinctive European look - long lean legs, narrow pants, narrow suit jackets, scarves all year round, and the BOOTS! Oh my....how I love the European boots.  I found the Swiss people to be very charming, caring, diligent, and helpful. The International School was swarming with interesting and adventurous ExPats who gently put my fears to rest,afterall, they had each been in the position we were in....kindred spirits. The schoolchildren all looked so American, so happy, laughing and playing on the playground, proudly showing the fruits of their labor, and the school buildings were beautiful and cheerful.  Switzerland, you had me at Gruitzi...of course we'd relocate!